Time to Dig Deep

I have to be honest. This winter thing is way, way harder than I remember. I'm sure some of it has to do with the fact that I never had to stand in a 5 degree parking long and wrestle with car seats or try to pushing a shopping cart laden with children through slush--or try to pull my toddler out of the slush--she thinks it is something to play with...I miss New Mexico winter! I miss being totally annoyed that I had to shed all my layers by noon because even though there were six inches of snow in the morning, it is still 50 by lunchtime. I miss the fact that no matter how snowy it was, everything was dry in an hour--this is huge, especially when you park in the garage. I miss actually enjoying a cloudy day. I miss sunny mornings--here we are lucky to get some daylight.

I now remember why my first year in the desert was so life-changing. I was on a sun-induced endorphin high for like 12 months straight. And then I got used to it. And then, I got soft and took it for granted. And now I'm back, wondering how I did this for 20+ years.

The other great sadness I have discovered, is that snow no longer means a snow day. When I was a teacher, there was nothing better than a blizzard. A free day-off, you know, to grade papers and study up for the next class. Now, a snow day just means we are confined to our four walls, because I have learned better than to drive in this stuff when it's coming down. "Mommy, why are you praying out loud?"

But there is also something waking back up in me too. Something strong, something that the people who live here need--the remembrance of the Light of the World. The reminder than Joy is like an evergreen tree--it stays green even when the other trees go bare. The hope that Aslan is on the move, spring will always come again, there will be Resurrection. And we will get used to this--I will grow back into the girl who used to run in the snow. Um, next year. But we will.