Last night I got six hours of sleep. Like in a row. I did wake up at 2:30. I heard no baby crying. A two year old joined us, as she has been since her brother was born. She has a certain way of coming into our bed, stepping right up over the foot of the bed in the center, like she is stepping onto a platform, marching through us and flopping down on her back with a contented sigh. Last night in particular she was whispering. Fervently. Not too loud, but present. I tuned into what she was saying: "And please help Mommy, and Daddy, and Peetah, and Heidi....and Una, and Nana, and Gamps."
Little soul was praying.
On my bed I remember You, I think of you through the watches of the night.--Psalm 63
It's nice that my little one is on a prayer watch.
I digress. So I got six hours of sleep. Peter has moved into his own room, telling me loud and clear that he was ready. It was so easy, but I miss him already. I know a lot of people don't sleep with their babies. I know it's each to his own, etc. I know that probably much of the reason I fell into the habit was because of my firstborns' surgical birth and the difficulty of moving the weeks after.
But really, a major reason that I sleep with my babies? I don't want to miss a minute. The rest of their lives I know I will be daydreaming about those silent (oh, yes, silent) moments when all we could hear was our breathing, when my hand rose and fell on your back, when we spent whole nights with you just there under my chin, just breathing. When feeding and sleeping were part of each other and our own tiny universe that lasted all night long. I love waking up to a little smiling face instead of a distant cry, I love this time. I miss it already.
But wow, those six hours of sleep felt like a week of vacation. I had no idea how sleep-deprived I was. Because really, when I thought about it, pregnancy doesn't allow for great sleep either--so really last night was the best night I've had, maybe in about a year. This explains so much.
Once again, I actually have some energy to blog.
We'll see.
