Ever Striving: Month Long Challenge

My little Proverbs 31 Challenge is back, now a monthly challenge...

This Happily Ever After

Kendall Bethy (my beautiful brilliant sister) has started her own blog! It should offer pleasant doses of the wit and style she is known for in our family in addition to updates on her family life in Virginia.

Ability & Suitability

When I was a little girl I used to pity the boys because they had drastically fewer wardrobe options. For them it was shorts, pants, shirts, and ties. We girls could wear everything they wore, but more. When, to my delight I realized that we could also wear ties and get away with it, I realized we had them beat on every level. We could wear their clothes without any eyebrow raising.

Most of the time.

But when a woman really wants to look her best, she wears a dress. Watch the Oscars or any high profile formal event. The women who wear the backwards tux jackets etc. always end up on the fashions "don'ts" page. Of course, Katherine Hepburn could get away with her trousers and still look fabulous, but it's Audrey who is best loved, and Audrey knew when to wear a dress.

So, at least from a purely biological perspective, there are some things better suited to a woman, and some better suited to man. There are certain garments that universally bring out the best features in each sex in it's own respective way. This is clear in both the Kingdom and the world.

It seems when we consider the question of women in the church, it's not so much a question of Biblical law or feminine ability as of Divinely crafted suitability and consistent Sciptural posture. I believe woman are certainly Allowed in positions of leadership, usually in proportion to the screwed-upness of the time in which they live. Deborah is a great example of this, found predictably in one of the worst cultural times in Old Testament history (Judges). She judged because in that dark day, every man did what was right in his own eyes. And when she was forced to lead the Israelites in battle, she confronted Barak (the Man whom God had originally called to lead) and made sure he knew of the honor he was losing by cowardly giving up his position to a woman. In other words, even though Deborah was Permitted to lead, she knew that it was not the ideal situation. Was she strong enough, wise enough, equipped enough, called enough? Absolutely, but she knew that she was less suited for the position than Barak, because Barak was a man.

It always makes me laugh that Deborah is so often the textbook example for women in leaderhip, but that she herself preached against it.

Are women called to be theologians? Absolutely. Is any Christian Not called to be a theologian? Theology: the study of God; how do we fear, obey, love, and worship a God we do not know by heart? How do we know Him by heart if we do not study Him? So, if anyone, male or female, considers herself a Christian and not a theologian, she is wrong.

Most generally, when Scripture talks about women, it glorifies us in the home, as mothers, daughters, wives, and servants, not as leaders. Christ demonstrated this when He chose His apostles, but His action was absolutly consistent with the Scriptural posturing of women from beginning to end. Eve is the helpmeet; she is saved through childbearing. Sarah is recognized for her great faith as a wife and a mother, and Rebekah, and Leah...little Myriam, for her protective role as sister--note when Myriam gets jealous of Moses' leaderhip she is stricken with leprosy. Sweet Rahab, who served in hospitality and joined the royal line. Precious Hannah, Naomi, Ruth, the elderly woman visited by Elijah, the small servant girl who was instrumental in the healing of Naaman, Esther who was used in spite of herself, Elizabeth, Mary, Mary Magdalene, the beloved women who came to serve Christ in His darkest hour and found His risen glory, these are just a few. We know that these great women are honored and tributed in history and Heaven, and none of them were deliberately seeking leaderhip positions or tenure. The garment that sets off their glory most consistently is home, husband, children, service, and hospitality, whether single or married. Proverbs 31 and I Timothy 5 are even more specific in clarifying this.

Yes, Paul recognizes women and mentions their good works in the church. Of course, women are Theologians; some of them are amazingly good ones, and we cherish their words today. When we as women consider positions of teaching and leadership, it's not a matter of our ability; it's a matter of our suitability. No law on earth or Heaven prevents me from wearing a pear colored sweater, but if I want to look my best, I know better.

In our age, Mother Theresa achieved the most yet aimed for the least. Her goal was not equal opportunity; it was practical love in the venues best fitting a woman: hospitality, service, the feeding of the hungry, the washing of feet. Yet her legacy is known far outside the walls of the church, and she certainly led and taught in her humble obedience.

And it seems that in the way the home, family (whether church family or married family), service, and hospitality most glorify women's gifts, these settings least glorify men's. Caitlin Flanagan, the moment's most curious speciman of anti-feminism, points out that while a man will certainly help with the dishes, he will not wring out the washcloth and hang it nicely to dry. He will not add the sprigs of mint to the ice cream. These are huge generalizations, and while I realize that there are many men out there who will certainly tend to these details, I think Flanagan is grasping a solid truth--most men are better suited to other work. Not only is this difference biological, but it's psychological, and, perhaps...spiritual. Maybe that's why men in dresses is frightful. Just not suitable.

And if we women throw our efforts into doing what the Bible explicitly says we ought to do and not so much what it does not explicitly say we ought to do, we will find there is little time left for church leadership or other ambiguities. Yes, we are definitely called to teach the younger women, but much of this, I expect, is experiential learning since women are called to so many hands-on tasks. We are explicitly called to prepare lovely tables, and to clothe our households, to sow and to reap, to to fix our hope on God and to continue in entreaties and prayers night and day, to do good works, to show hospitality to strangers, to wash the saints feet, to assist those in distress--how can women who are achieving these specific commands possibly find time to lead the church?

We live in an age much like Deborah's, and so of course gender roles have become dark and muddled. And perhaps some women, like Deborah, will be thrust into positions of leadership against our own understanding of what fits best. But unless we are clearly and authoritatively placed in such an uncomfortable garment, it seems we should be busy doing and wearing those things to which we can be certain we are called, those things that suit us best.

Happy Birthday Brother!

My family likes to tease me about how when David was born I had a huge tantrum because my parents didn't name him John. I now recant my former stance, and am ready to go on the record: I like my brother's name, all of it, and even more I am completely amazed at his character & personality. As these photos will attest, it's not always easy growing up with only girls, but somehow he turned out real good.

So, thanks be to God for giving us such a noble brother, who has brought us all such joy. Hard to boil things down to written words, but I'm so glad you were born!

Baby Una

Half purchase, half rescue. All cuteness. Very similar to a polar bear cub, or a seal pup. Samoyed-Husky mix. She loves wet grass, playgrounds, insects, cuddling, and, surprisingly, strawberries!

I don't want to bore anyone with tales of ticks, vet visits, housebreaking, and other dog drama. But I will say that it's all worth it, that she is the cutest thing EVER, and that we are a happy little family. Stay tuned for more photos--she's too cute to resist.

Happenings, Nonhappenings

Sorry I've been a bit quiet lately...we've been busy, but not really busy. In other words, we don't have classes or commutes weighing us down, but that has filled our free time with other busyness: more hours at work, lots of climbing, roller hockey, some dancing (!), and starting on the list of household projects we conjured up a few Saturdays ago. We just finished organizing the garage and are moving into some yard overhaul--hopefully making it more dog friendly. Doing projects together is still a delightful novelty--may it always be so.

Also I've signed on as a contributing author of yet another delightful blog by my dear and oldest friend MM, Christian Womanhood...so please visit us there as well.

And tomorrow, as a last gasp, I'm presenting my War thesis to my colleagues at work, which makes me nervous, and that's all I can say about that. Please pray if you remember (12 pm CMT).

I'm also mentally compiling a new reading list to attack over the next few months. I'm focusing on the books we currently own, but suggestions are always welcome. In a class I took with Doug Wilson we were recommended that good thinking Christians should work through about a book a week. War and Peace is taking longer, but the Da Vinci Code only took a day. Something in between perhaps.

Happy Birthday Dear Elf!

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby sister, who turned 19 yesterday! We are so proud of you and thankful that you were born!

Back from Germs

Or, Deutschland as I am now entitled to call it, having visited with the natives myself.

I forgot to give leave of my absence: husband and I spent the last week in Hamburg, Germany--actually we spent most of it in a small suburb of Hamburg called Shenefelt.

So, for the sake of family and friends who might be interested, I'll narrate a few pictoral highlights.

Brother, the hero (thanks to Mom!) completed a joint mission to deliver wedding album to O'Hare. Thanks, so much to David & Mom!

I got to play lots of house with adorable nieces!

Oliver and 2nd cousin Tim (age 6) rally to the goal.

Ellen comes out to play; Britta comes out to ref.

Klara watches from the window.


Husband and me at the German reception. His parents arranged this for all the friends and family who couldn't make it halfway around the world for our wedding. I didn't really know what was going on most of the time (ah, Deutsch), but the vibe was good.

Husband and brother-in-law Scott enjoy a celebratory cigar.

It's a tradition to take a walk through the woods between the main course & dessert. Here we are with family friends from Switzerland.

Ellen is always cheerful when she has candy.

The album proves its usefulness.



The day after our reception was spent in downtown Hamburg taking in the sights with the cousins. Here is Husband reminiscing with the mini-train at the train station in Hamburg. If you put a euro in, the train moves. Opa always let him put money in.

The many cranes of Hamburg, city of industry.

Playmobile Pink Princess Castle--I had to capture that image.

The little ones had to stay home on the city day--you can see them in the window.

We heard the bells of St. Michel up close and personal.

St. Michel: the tallest spire in Hamburg, one of seven used by sailors to gauge their proximity to the city.

Life-size playmobile world cup players!



The village square where we had Sunday lunch. It faces the harbour and every weekend there is a farmer's market there.

Schulla (flounder) topped with Bacon--one of Father-in-law's favorites.



On Sunday afternoon the men went to a soccer game. I was treated to a tea party with Mutti and Oma.

Oma made the tablecloth herself.

Oma and Opa's window view.



After the soccer game, the men enjoyed hot grog.

Husband and Oma.


Opa saved all the pictures and mail Husband and his siblings sent across the Atlantic and still keeps them in a drawer. Husband knew just where to look.

Oliver's 6th grade rendition of a punk rocker. Scary or funny?

Childhood drawings.



Husband's parents took us on a day trip to a destination of our choosing. We decided on Luneberg, a small ancient town about 45 minutes outside of Hamburg. It felt the most like Europe.

I would like to live there.

The river.

Said to be one of J.S. Bach's churches, in Luneberg.




When we got back we went to the park with Scott, Britta, and little ones.

I taught her how to do the butterfly.


On our last night we went out for dinner with Oma and Opa. We took the bus to a little Greek restaurant and saw a few family landmarks along the way.

The sweet church where Oma and Opa were married, about 2 blocks from where they live now.

The building where Oma went to school--back then it was a 45 minute walk each way.

Dinner at the best Greek restaurant ever. Oma and Opa are regulars and favorites at a few local restaurants, which guaranteed us excellent service and Ouzo on the house.


There are lots of things I didn't get pictures of--the dense green of Shenefelt--the ordered hedges weighted with lilacs, wisteria, and peonies and spotless yards and narrow streets, the small lake we ran to one morning, and the local Aldi (yes, family, did you know Aldi comes from Germany?).

I didn't get as many pictures of the relatives as I wanted. Not knowing German, I didn't want to freak them out by pointing the camera at them too often. I didn't get pictures of Bandt's and Patricia's house, which is only a few years old and has two maples in the front yard (one for each son). I didn't get pictures of our afternoon tea at Tante Monika's, or Tante Mariana's. I didn't get enough pictures of sweet Britta & Scott, who we were privileged to share home with all week.

And I definitely did not take a picture of our long hours at the Frankfurt airport, where we missed a ridiculously tight connection and of course, a night of sleep, and where, in the midst of a marital scuffle that bordered between fighting and flirting, my glass bottle of Aveda facial freshner went flying out of my hands and crashed at the feet of a 40-ish, paper-grading high school teacher. She was kind; we were apologetic. The terminal exploded with aromatherapy. I must write about it to remember.

Now we're back in our desert house. It was a lovely trip, most of all because of our dear family. But we are glad to be home too. I have a lot of thoughts right now--about Providence and its powerful movements across the globe, about family and the depths of ministry within that network and our callings to it, about how fun it is to go to Europe with my sweet Husband who tirelessly translated for me, and about good ole Bach, and which Fugue to learn next. What was he thinking?