The Wedding and the Marriage, Temporal, Eternal

Sermon given by an old high school pal of mine, who is now an ordained ECUSA Priest and the noble fiance of my dear friend MM. Thanks, FrWB for such a graceful note of Truth, thanks, MM for sharing.

I found it especially valuable in light of our current Sunday School Class on the Family, which is now spotlighting marriage.

God has given us Holy Matrimony to be an icon of the love of his Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, for us.

The opening of the prayer book service puts it very plainly. The bond and covenant of marriage is commended by Holy Scripture to be honored among all people BECAUSE “it signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church” (BCP, 423). His Church, his people… we who have been reborn into the new life of God’s own Son “by water and the Spirit” (John 3.5). By entering into this bond and covenant, Anne and Michael solemnly undertake to proclaim with their life together, the love of God for the world he made: a love perfected in the giving of his only Son to die on the cross (John 3.16).

Jesus poured out his life on the cross and thereby laid claim to a Bride, the one Church. He procured her redemption through his own suffering and bloodletting and death. His last words before he died were “It is finished.” In Latin: Consummatum est! It is consummated. The cross is the consummation of Christ’s divine love for his Bride, the Church. On the cross he is poured out completely. He holds nothing of himself back. His death is an ecstasy of pure love. Ekstasis in Greek means to stand outside of oneself. On the cross, the union of Christ’s Soul and Body, his very selfhood is ruptured in death. He undertakes this rupture of his own selfhood, out of the depths of his love for us.

That is what the union, the becoming-one of this couple (Ephesians 5.31), will tell the world. And that proclamation to the world is what makes their matrimony holy. To say that a thing is “holy” is to say that it is set aside for a special use. This is the special use of marriage: to show the world in what way God loves us: by uniting himself to us in life and in death. Never lose sight of that. Nor ever lose sight of this fact that goes with it: holy matrimony is not primarily about you. It is about you. But it is about you in that you are being set apart and sanctified in order to proclaim the love of God to a world in desperate, desperate need of that proclamation. Watch CNN for five minutes. You’ll see what I mean.

The world is going to hell in a hand-basket. And the only thing that saves from hell is the love of God in Christ: a love physically perfected, a love consummated, by the total self-surrender, the total submission, the unreserved outpouring of divine life on a cross in Zion. That divine love draws mankind so tightly to the breast of God that we are said thereby to be united to God – by being united to Christ in the ecstatic love of his outpouring of himself, in the consummation of the cross (Romans 6.5).

Marriage is not about you. It is about saving the world. Saving it by and in and through the power of God’s own love for all these beautiful, silly creatures he made. What makes Matrimony Holy, is its being instituted in order for us to share, in an incredible way, the Son of God’s saving of the world. Today this couple join together as one to share in saving the world, by sharing in the love of God that saves it. Friends, your love for one another must be empowered by the love of God in the stricken face of Christ. The love of Christ, and the love of the love of Christ, must be the wellspring for your own love for one another. If you allow the love of God in Christ to uphold and empower your own life of love, then your life together and your love for one another will be set apart – made holy – to proclaim redemption to a desperate and broken world; a world full of people crying out to be desired, yearning to be yearned-for. Keep your life rooted in the love of God in Christ Jesus, and your love for one another will overflow, and will meet the desire-to-be-desired and the yearning-to-be-yearned-for of the people who will see you and who will come to know you. By seeing the oneness of your life and love, people will see and come to know the healing, saving, redeeming oneness of God’s love for them in the ecstasy of Christ.

Let your mutual submission be immovably rooted in Christ’s submission unto death, and in the Church’s submission to his crucified Lordship. If you keep your love for one another wrapped up in this love, in his love, you will find that your love for one another will take on the redemptive character of his love: it will become immortal. To be sure: your love will rouse the fury of Hell, and the Devil’s wrath. Your life together will face challenges, as all good and holy things in this world do. But this is the blessed assurance: the power of death, the gates of Hell, shall not prevail against you and your love, because your love will be wrapped in the love of God. And his love forbears all, forgives all, conquers all. By keeping your love for one another rooted in the love of Christ crucified, you will keep yourselves rooted in the victory of his love. And in all these things, you will be more than conquerors through him who loved you. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus your Lord (Romans 8.37ff). To whom be honor and glory, now and forever. Amen.

Graduation, Paradise Lost

Forgive my sloppy referencing, but nearly two years have passed since one afternoon when I happened to be teaching a British Literature class on Milton's Paradise Lost. We were on Book IV--in which Milton vividly describes Eden, or "Heaven on Earth." I had the perfect Lewis quote too; I think, from his famous Preface to the poem, something like (a rough paraphrase): "Paradise is a place in one's mind, which ought to be cultivated, cared for, and visited often." Lovely class discussion too, on what it means to have a mind like Paradise, filled with Heaven here on earth.

And then someone knocked on the door, and I had a message in the office from St. John's College, saying that I had been accepted into the program. I had been longing for graduate school for two long years, and my rejection file was growing thick. The dream of full-time Paradise cultivation in a grad program somewhere had grown faint and wispy. And its realization was fully miraculous.

It's a nice memory. I wasn't even going to apply to St. John's, but the admissions advisor talked me into it. My family all just happened to be in town due to various random appointments on the day I heard I was accepted so they could take me out to celebrate and look at pictures of Santa Fe that I had started collecting in an effort to revitalize the dream.

My time there has been rich; having taught me better how to talk, and hopefully, listen. I have learned just how impossible it is to have an untheological conversation about anything from Euclid to Freud. And hopefully my mind's Paradise has grown and widened with more to remember, more to explore.

I was a little sad not to find a teaching job right away, but then I remember it was a pile of rejections that brought me here, and here is where I am happiest to be.

Praise God, from Whom all Blessing Flow, and His Son, who prepares a place for me in the True Paradise, which I pray to think upon until that day.

Thanks too for my sweet family, who all helped me to come here and learn, for Husband, who let me drive the Jetta for the past two semesters of commuting, and who always came out to welcome me after the long drive, for all my school friends and especially to Marci, who said that Truth has no exceptions.

Pictures hopefully to follow.

Life in New Mexico: Wildcard!

There is always something crazy happening on the interstates of New Mexico. Trucks with strange mish-mashes of carpets, goats, swimming pool parts haphazardly piled and speeding are common sights. We call them wildcards. Here's the latest, as seen with Kandid Kiwi on Monday.

To Promote Awareness

I have long struggled with LA. My addiction has sabatoged my childhood social life, my college and career choices, and my backpacking experiences. Here is a brief survey you can take to see if you are a victim of LA as well.

Self-Test for Literature Abuse: How many of these apply to you?

1. I have read fiction when I was depressed or to cheer myself up.
2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
3. I read rapidly, often "gulping" chapters.
4. I sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen.
6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
7. Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak.
8. I often read alone.
9. I have pretended to watch television while secretly reading.
10. I keep books or magazines in the bathroom for a "quick nip."
11. I have denied or "laughed off" criticism of my reading habit.
12. Heavy reading has caused conflicts with my family or spouse.
13. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby.
14. I seldom leave my house without a book or magazine.
15. When travelling, I pack a large bag full of books.
16. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read.
17. Reading has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
18. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I finished a novel.
19. I become nervous, disoriented, or fearful when I must spend more than 15 minutes without reading matter.
20. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
21. I have sold books to support my reading "habit."
22. I have daydreamed about becoming a rich & famous writer, or "word-pusher."
23. I have attempted to check out more library books than is permitted.
24. Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers.
25. I have sometimes passed out or woken groggy or "hung-over" after a night of heavy reading.
26. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of reading.
27. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read.
28. I have sometimes wished I did not read so much.
29. Sometimes I think my fiction reading is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to five or more of these questions, you may be a literature abuser. Affirmative responses to ten or more indicates a serious reading problem --seek help now! Fifteen or more "yes" responses indicates a severe or chronic "readaholic" personality. Intervention is seldom effective at this stage.

Hat Tip to a List of Lists for pointing out this helpful diagnostic.

Family: In Honor of the Day and the Woman

She suffered to give me life.
She read the same books over and over because we asked.
She taught me Luke 2 and always reminded me to say the 23rd Psalm until I fell asleep.
She sacrificed her own indulgences to spend her days teaching us at home, in the days when people looked at us funny for not being in school. She worked hard to make school interesting, fun, and Truth-filled.
Whenever we took a road trip, she packed us each a "busy box" filled with games and surprises so we wouldn't be bored.
She let us listen to the George Winston tape on repeat during our hours in the car.
She always made us a lunch.
When we were jealous of our friends who wore uniforms to school, she ordered some for us, so every day we wore uniforms to the "school room."
She always held our heads.
She made sure never to embarrass us or draw attention to our weaknesses.
She drove us 2 hours away each week for piano lessons with the best teacher she could find, which has given me a means of ministry.
She dyed instant pudding with food coloring and let us finger paint with it.
She spent the entire fall semester planning my wedding, including flying out to try on dresses and finalize plans.
She showed respect for her husband and instilled in us respect for our father.
Her letters and phone calls are a constant encouragement and reminder of who we are.
Her table is always lovely and inviting.
She cared for her own mother through the last and darkest days, and has been a profound example not only of motherhood, but of daughterhood.

Hard to really find words, just a few memories and a deep thanks to you, dear Mother.

Home: High as Kites

Yippee!! Husband is DONE WITH CLASSES! Our first married Saturday (since Honeymoon) not marred by impending school deadlines. What to do, what to do? I foresee Huevos Rancheros, a trip to REI, Costco (bah), and maybe some MI III. Huevos Rancheros is ready.

Family: Brother gets his BA!!

We had the blessed privilege of sharing in David's graduation celebration, made sweeter by Eric's first post-war family gathering.

We were happy and privileged to share graduation brunch with David's dear friends Nancy and Jim McCabe (siblings, class of 06).

Boo looks like she stepped out of J Crew.

We don't know how David will manage without dear Jim as his trusty roommate. Maybe Eric can give him some pointers, since he and Jim were roommates way back in LIFT, 2001 at Camp-of-the-Woods.

Becca enjoyed her first Wheaton social gathering at a sweet post-graduation BBQ.

David's fan club

Look, Mom! I got one!

Husband especially enjoyed celebrating with new brother and family. We were grateful he could come.

The graduation scene

Upcoming Mama Kendall maternally checks tassel

Everyone gets lined up

Deal's closed

Proud parents

Our first married alumni photo

Family Strolls on Blanchard Lawn

What's this for again?

Proud cousins of the US Marine

Mom enjoys a moment with the Graduate

Aunt enjoys a moment with nephew

The best we could do

Sisters

Cut from the same cloth

David, Grandpa and Liz

Typical Post-Grad Chaos

David's Wonderful Friends

Looking for the parents

The whole litter

The Farm

So, husband finally met the farm. Grandpa and Liz made sure we had a rip-roaring time, with goats, cows, truck safaris, and a hay wagon picnic in the West Woods. We looked like a bunch of city slickers--but I guess I should come to terms with the fact that we are. We had a wonderful time and I wish we could go back more often.
Illinois Skies

The Lane

Sweet cows

Feeding the Goats

Brave Boo obviously spends more time at the farm than the rest of us!

Kirsten calls her husband back in DC to tell him where she is right now.

The goat whisperer

Husband tries to make the goats run

Riverside laughs.

Beautiful Boo

Hanging out in the Treestand

The little river

West Woods Picnic

Grandpa cooking hotdogs on the pitchfork

Pickup Truck Safari

Talking with Grandpa

The beautiful green

Making grass whistles

The ridge where the Indians used to walk.